Last night, A League of Their Own, was on TV, and I hear my daughter say, "Come sit with me Mom, our favorite movie is on TV". While I was watching it with her, I sat there thinking, she loves the game, and I realized that maybe we had done something right.
I had no intentions of coaching our kids. I had always said that when we had kids I was
going to “retire” from coaching. The
ONLY reason being, I wanted our kids to love the game. I wanted them to not be hindered by a parent
that was too hard on them, and I was so very afraid that I would be. However…someone else knew better.
14 years ago our daughter tells us, “I want to play ball”. If only we all knew where those words would
lead us to today. I grew up loving and playing softball, so when she made that declaration, I said Ok, but I was secretly giddy! But I still wasn’t
going to coach her. Only someone else
knew differently. 14 years ago, I
stepped onto the field for the first time with our daughter. And I spent the next 10 years coaching her on
and off (along with her Dad). We made it work, and I only
made her cry, by my count, twice. Not being hard on her turned out to be a pretty easy task. She was learning to love the game and having fun, it was easy to not want
to destroy that, and to let her natural progression of the game advance. 5 years ago, I stood on the field watching
her hold back her skill level, and her dad and I both knew it was time to move
her to the more competitive side of the sport.
We won a Little League Championship title that year, and it was the most
greatest feeling in the world holding that banner with our daughter, but I knew
that it was the last time I would stand on the field with her as her
coach. She was capable of so much more, and
needed pushed in that direction, and her dad and I both knew that it needed to
be someone else to coach her into that direction. And that has lead us to where we are today.
It was not the wrong decision. She
has flourished in every single way we hoped she would. Yes, her skills have advanced, as we would
hope. But she has also learned some valuable
life skills. She has learned the art of winning
as a team, and losing as a team. She has
learned to make adjustments to reach goals.
She has learned that sometimes if you want something bad enough, you
have to work extra hard for it. She has learned to work through the frustrations on many different levels. She has
learned the disappointment that sometimes comes with life, you can work hard
but things still don’t go your way. And
she has learned after disappointments, life goes on. You will get up the next day, and step back
onto the field, and try again. But the most important thing…she has developed lifelong
relationships with her softball sisters.
It was not the wrong decision, because at the end of the day she loves the game, and she is achieving her
dreams. While she is not 100% decided on what her next steps are, next week we
will be visiting a college in upstate New York.
She will get to go to some classes, and meet the team. She is nervous, and excited all at the same
time. But it reflects where she has worked so hard to be!
There are a lot (A LOT!) of people out there who do not
understand why we chose to do what we have done for our kids. A lot of people look at our schedules and
think we are crazy, and honestly sometimes we think so too. I know just in general with many, many sports
parents, that there is a perception that we force our kids to play
sports. I have said it before, and I
will say it again, we don’t make our kids do anything they do not want to
do. We are doing it for the exact
opposite reason. It is our kid’s choice
to play, it is their choice as to how far they want to go with the sport. All of the time, effort, blood, sweat, and
tears for all of us has been a choice. And
it is one that we have done with ZERO regrets. Where our kids have gotten
themselves today, has been by their doing.
We only have tried to provide them the tools to help make it possible,
and the support to help them believe they could do it.
It is her last high school game tonight, and while we will
still have one more competitive season in the spring, tonight our daughter will
close a chapter in her sports career. And tonight, I will walk onto that field with my daughter
once again, not as a coach, but as her Mom, and as one of her biggest
cheerleaders in the world. It has been an amazing ride to this day, one that I will be forever grateful for. On the
inside, I will undoubtedly be a hot a mess, proud of where she has come, and
excited for where she is headed, a little sad that this time is here, maybe a
little bit relieved that we all have survived this. Outwardly, I will walk out there with a big
smile on my face, only hoping to match the humbleness and grace of our
daughter. Our kids tell us all time we
are their hero’s. In reality, our kids
are my hero’s. They amaze me and keep in
awe every single day.
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