Well, we are moving up in the world now. We now have a 16 year old driver in the
house, and a moody 13 year old. I have discovered that no amount of reading on the internet or otherwise can
prepare a parent for the teenage years.
It feels like I spent much time preparing myself what to expect having
teenagers, and thought I had a chance to have a handle on it. I was prepared for the normal teenage stuff
like, moodiness, the arguing, and the “I know everything” attitude, you know
all the typical things that should accompany teenagers. I was fully prepared to choose my battles
wisely. But since we are deeply into the
teen years and there is definitely not a chance of every going back to the days
where I could hold and cuddle them, I am coming to realize I completely under
estimated the teen years! I have
discovered I have a love/hate relationship with the teen years. I feel like a walking oxymoron now. Here is the top 5 things that I was not
prepared for:
1.)
I actually enjoy the teen years- 5 years ago I
would have told you that I dreaded moving into the teen years, that I was
frightened as all get out. But it turns
out these years by far are my favorite years.
I love watching them grow up and becoming people, yes I know that makes
them sound like they were aliens or something but……it’s true. Watching them use the tools we have given
them is the most amazing thing in the world!
Watching them grow and mature and interacting with them on a different
level is by far the best feeling ever!
2.)
I can’t wait to send them off into the world- By
now you are probably thinking, WOW she has lost her cookies! No, I haven’t, I assure you! We have taught our kids to follow their
dreams, because sometimes when they actually become a reality it can mean some
pretty amazing things! I was not
prepared for the fact that by trying to teach them this one simple thing that
we would create some pretty goal oriented monsters. My 16 year old knows exactly what he wants past
high school and will not let much stand in his way in his attempt to achieve
his dreams. My 13 year old is very quick
on his heels, and works harder than anyone I know. Seeing them attempt to
achieve their dreams is going to take us, as a family, on a pretty fun ride! I
can’t wait to see what is in store for them.
3.)
Ok so I was prepared to handle THEIR moodiness
and emotions. I was even prepared to
handle the conflicts. What I was not
prepared for was the emotional roller coaster that it would bring US, the
parents! Take my son getting his license
this week for example. Just the thought
of him turning 16 caused me much anxiety, but yet so much excitement for him to
hit this “rite of passage” in his life.
It’s a new found freedom for not only him, but US the parents. I have never been so excited for this new
found freedom and so scared for his life at the same time! It took “worrying” to a new level! He has hardly been home all week, and he can
now get himself to and from all of his activities, we only have to show up to
watch the games! I have convinced myself that this particular age is really
prepping us for learning how to move from being the coach (in their lives) to
being spectators and enjoying the show
4.)
I was not
prepared for a girl: Girls just don’t happen often in my husband’s family, so when
we got married I knew my chances of having a daughter was very slim. So I somehow set my mind to having a house
full of boys. Well……we defied odds and
had a girl! My mind quickly shifted and
prepared for everything that a girl would bring to the family. However, as she was growing up, I quickly
realized she wasn’t a girly girl. She wanted to wear dresses but play hard and
get dirty. I used to describe her as my
girly tomboy! She quickly developed her
own “style”, and we let her, after all I wanted to teach her at a young age to
be herself and to be confident in herself.
Then hormones hit. Oh, the
hormones. She is a confident teenager,
for the most part. She doesn’t give into
peer pressure, still is generally a girly tomboy, and doesn’t like makeup. Wants to be her own person, stands up for
herself. Great! Everything we had worked for. Uh…..yeah well, confidence + hormones +
extreme stubbornness inherited from her father = a teenager that when stressed
out, loses all ability to be reasoned with, and she can display a wide range of
emotions on her face in the matter of seconds! For some odd reason, this little
tiny piece of knowledge didn’t enter my mind.
I was not prepared for this. Her
Dad and I consider ourselves pretty savvy people, we both manage people, so we
consider our reasoning abilities to be better than average. The first time this happened we both stood
there dumb founded, wondering what just happened, and that has never
happened……where neither of us have no words.
My magical Mom sense tells me that this is normal for a teenage
girl. Somehow I just missed this
one. Don’t get me wrong……….I love having
a daughter. I have a special bond with
both of my kids, but there is just something with having a Mother/Daughter
bond.
5.)
See number 3-I was not prepared to cry at
everything. I am not a crier by nature,
but being a mother evokes such strong, amazing feelings that I am overwhelmed
with the love I feel for my kids. The first time I cried was the second my son
was born. The nurses thought something was wrong with me, but there
wasn’t. I was overwhelmingly overjoyed
at being a Mom. And it continued
through the years, every single time they hit a milestone, I cry. Every time they accomplish something great, I
cry. When they hurt, I cry. And now that
they are closer to being adults than ever before, when I think about what will
happen when they achieve their goals and dreams, I know I will cry. Not being a crier by nature, I wasn’t
prepared for this. But then again, there
isn’t a single thing out there that can prepare a Mom for the overwhelming love
that you will feel when you see your baby for the first time.
In a nutshell I was prepared to despise the teen years, not
to LOVE them. My kids aren’t perfect,
but then again no one is. There will be
bad days and there will be good days. I
have always loved seeing the world through the eyes of my children and it’s no
different with them being teenagers, even the moodiness. Being a parent is the most challenging, the
most rewarding experience ever. We take
each day and each challenge as it comes.
We dream together, we love together, we fight together, and we laugh
together, all while teaching them and giving them the wings to fly. One thing I have learned and expected is that
being a parent in and of itself is an oxymoron and I love every minute of
it!
