So this blog will have nothing to do the humorous side of raising kids. Its just me, pondering, like I always do. Maybe you will find humor in it, maybe you won't. To each their own.
I am newly unemployed (laid off) after 9 long years with a company. At first it wasn't such a big deal. The first week both my husband and kids were home for the holiday, we stayed busy like always. The second week, I had the kids home. I fully expected that it would be just like it was when I was home with them when they were little. I couldn't have been more wrong. When they were little it seemed like I was always chasing my tail to keep up with them.....diapers, meals, nap time (with the grand idea that I would get stuff done), story time at the library, preschool. Now they are 13 and 11, in middle school and they can fend for themselves. We are at a point where they don't necessarily NEED me, and it made the experience that much more enjoyable. We could hang out and spend quality time together, play games, watch movies, scrapbook, or just sit and talk while having lunch. Loved every moment of it.
But now I am on week 2 of the kids being back in school and the hubby back to work, and its just me and the dogs. And I am bored! Anyone that knows me, knows that I do NOT like being bored. I just like being busy. Actually we all like being busy, and our chaotic lifestyle is a true reflection of that. Yes, I have a routine down to try and keep myself busy, but I am also efficient and am usually done by Noon, and to be honest I am a little lost. I don't know what to do with my time (there are only so many jobs out there to apply for). I am a clean freak, so my house is clean anyway. I have cleaned my kids rooms, I get lunch ready for my husband (he comes home to eat), I start dinner, I take the kids to school, I pick them up. One would think all of this is enough to keep one person busy ALL day long, but it doesn't.
Here is the thing........I have always had an internal struggle with making a decision to be a stay at home Mom or to be a working Mom. And I have been criticized repeatedly for making the decision to be a working Mom. I have actually been called "a horrible, horrible Mother and person for choosing work over my kids". It is a choice and a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. And quite honestly people need to make the decision that fits their family needs. Most people that don't know our little family history are the ones who are quick to judge. They don't realize that I did spend the majority of my children's younger years home with them. When I had my oldest, I was working and going to school. The ONLY time he wasn't with me was while I was in classes. Fortunately I had a job that allowed me to bring him to work, so I did. When I was about to have my daughter the "rules" changed and I couldn't bring them anymore, so I quit. And my husband and I made the ultimate sacrifice that many parent chose to do, and I stayed home for the first 6 months of our daughters life. Then it was quickly apparent that I needed to find a part time job for the holidays (and car issues. etc). So I found work in the evenings so my husband could be home with the kids. One thing lead to another and I quickly found myself with a different company promoted to an assistant manager position, working 70+ hours a week. I thought "yes, I could be a career woman!" I was exhausted, my husband was exhausted and I hardly EVER saw my kids. I lasted 7 months in the position, and it was 7 months I could never take back. I "woke up" and quit the day my boss told me I couldn't have my daughters 2nd birthday off. So I went back to working Part time and eventually ended up with the company that I was just laid off from. They are an education company, and I happen to work out of the same building that offered preschool. So I put them in the Center and worked upstairs from them. I would go down and eat lunch with them and play with them on the play ground, in return the teachers would let them come upstairs and visit whenever they needed to (rocks up the nose, beads in the ears, or they just plain missed Mommy). Life was grand! I had the best of both worlds, and I could still work and be with my kids. :)
Then they started school. I had always known that I wouldn't make a very "good" stay at home Mom once the kids started school. I knew that I would get "bored" once they were in school full time. I effectively went full time working when the kids started school. Fortunately both my husband and I had jobs that allowed us to still be a very active part of our kids lives. We both still took turns volunteering at the kids schools for various things, still took them to all their appointments, went to the schools to kiss wounds (yes our kids call us for weird things), see plays, see contests they enter, etc.We made it work. Life was still grand! Until Summer time that is. Then the kids were off school, and I felt guilty all over again about dropping them off at camp. Every Summer we would put them in a camp ran by the company I worked for. So I knew the people, knew the curriculum and also knew that they would do so MUCH more with camp than we would ever do it I was home. AND they had a blast. Which is awesome, because by this time in the lives of our happy little family, we had (like so many people do) gotten ourselves into a situation financially where I now HAD to work.
We had to find balance. My husband and I have very very long days most of the time to ensure that we are involved in our kids lives. We get up at 5:30am and go to bed at 11pm. We coach, and volunteer at most of the kids events. At one point I not only worked 40 hours a week, but I was also room Mom, Cookie Mom, head of the boyscout troop, was apart of the Yearbook committee, and coached my daughter on her coach pitch team in softball. Simultanously my husband coached her basketball team and was assistant Scout Master. We live a crazy life, but we are happy doing it.
Being off now I have had time to reflect on our choice for me to work. I realize that we made the choice we thought was best for our family. We found a balance, and we are still highly involved in our kids life. We both might be completely exhausted at the end of the day, but neither of us wouldn't trade it for the world.
After 14 years I finally realized the "secret" to the dilemma is to do what is best for your family, and for every family the answer might be different. But for us we have found our balance, and our family is happy, and that is all I ever wanted in the first place.
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