Mom, I love you to the end of the Universe!

So last night was a classic for dinner conversations in the Casebolt house, so I thought I would share them! Jacee: Mom, I think this boy likes me. I went to pick something up in school and he goes "NO! I will get that for you!" Me: Oh maybe his parents are just raising him to be a gentleman. Jacee: No! He likes me. He flirts with me all the time! Me: How does he flirt with you? Jacee: Well I don't exactly know what flirting is, so I am not sure! And continuing into the evening. Its bed time and I am sitting on the couch. Shawn comes out of his room and says "Mom, I love you to the end of the Universe and back." Then bends down and puts his forehead on my forehead and says "You know that right? That is how much I love you?" I go "Well buddy, I love you very much too! Infinity and beyond!" And he goes "Good, so does that mean I can take my skateboard to school tomorrow?" Ah! The joys of being a teenager! Although I know he loves me, we are at "that stage!".

Its 10:30pm-Monsters outside! (really a dorito bag)

Alright! Finally a funny Casebolt story! Its 10:30pm, and we are trying to get to bed at a decent time since Jason is sick. I hear footsteps above me, but normally this just means that one of the kids is up to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later I hear faint footsteps coming down the stairs and a tiny faint knock at our door. It is Shawn, and he is afraid his sister is going to yell at him so he is being as quiet as he can so she doesn't know he is coming to get us. I am thinking "Great she is sick now with some sort of stomach bug!" (She doesn't like to tell us she throws up right away. NO IDEA why). Nah turns out she was texting her friend at 10:30 at night when she should be sleeping. Her friend was afraid because someone tried to get in her window, and rang their doorbell. So Jacee sent Shawn a message that she as afraid, and didn't know what to do, BUT didn't want him to tell us she was afraid. So I get this entire story. And I come upstairs so I can talk to her. Jason, whom should be in bed, comes wandering upstairs. I am going through the house making sure the doors and windows are locked for the sake of my kids sanity. We are showing them where the triggers to the alarm system are located and guaranteeing them that should someone break in we will know. Also trying to convince our big dog to protect them to give them reassurance. Well we all get to the kitchen window and notice something glowing outside in the back yard. Jason, the rational one, tries to convince us all that it is something reflecting from the lights in the park. Me and the kids all convince him it is something really glowing, and the more we look at it the 3 of us are convinced that it is a mutant alligator trying to get in the back yard. We can see LOTS of teeth! After all it can't be a Bigfoot, because its to low to the ground. So poor Jason, whom is sick, decides to go out and investigate. He gets his slippers on and a jacket, heads through the garage and grabs a paint extender stick (not sure how that will protect him) and all 3 of us stand at the window, just watching and waiting. Not sure for what, maybe we all though it would jump at him or something. Well low and behold he pokes it and decides it is harmless. Picks it up and brings it to the garage, and says "This Dorito bag is your alligator. I saved you all from it, lets go to bed now!"

Life's Disappointments-Learning them the hard way!

Okay! So this isn't going to be a funny blog either! I am beginning to think that maybe I shouldn't have named my blog what I did. Tonight I am struggling as a parent. My kids are not perfect, and I will be the first person to admit that. I also know that in real life they will suffer disappointments. It is part of life, and a lesson they need to learn. Life is full of disappointments, and I am all for teaching my kids about life lessons to prepare them for adult hood. Jason and I try not to sugarcoat anything for this reason alone. But tonight we find ourselves trying to parent through Jacee's first major disappointment, and we are a little bit lost on how to help her through it. So let me explain why. Shawn and Jacee both tried out for the spring middle school play. One child made it and the other one didn't. Jacee has been looking forward to this particular play for weeks because it is a play on Zombies, and she LOVES Zombies. She has talked about it non-stop for the past month. She is the one that didn't make it. She is heart broken. And quite honestly her Dad and I are floored. She has been in a drama club since she was in 2nd grade. This past fall for the school fall play, she had a pretty big part (a bigger part in matter of fact than some of the kids that DID make the spring play). I figured she would make it. So when I got the call this after noon that said "Mom, I didn't make the play. Can you come pick me up?", I was shocked! I get there and she is crying, and of course started to cry even harder when she saw me. When we got home she locked herself in the bathroom and cried for almost an hour. I spent my time trying to convince her that it will be okay. She can just work harder and try again. Of course through the sobs she is telling me she won't try again, and that she feels the teachers had it all picked out before try outs, and of course "one girl even has a talent agent, and acting coach! How will I EVER beat that Mom? The worst part is I don't know what I did so wrong to not make it in it. They won't tell me." I worked through that thinking "okay this is just teenage girl hormones raging, she is probably exaggerating because she is so upset. I know she will get past it." I am trying to be my positive cheer leading self to get her through it. But inside, inside I am raging! The more I heard through the sobs the more upset I am! So what do I do? Call my husband, who becomes equally upset and says "I am leaving work to go talk to the teachers. This is ridiculous!" So Papa Bear shows up to pick Shawn up and talks to the teachers. The teachers who run the drama club, bless their hearts, do it voluntarily. They don't get paid extra to do this for the kids. They are great teachers, and they put on wonderful productions. But what my husband heard only verified what Jacee had been telling me. The more he talked with them the more upset my husband became, and he ultimately had to walk away from the conversation. Neither of us expected the outcome to be different, I think we just wanted answers. They have their reasons for picking whom they did, and we can't change that. He was told that "Jacee is very talented. She is a very good actress." So why she didn't make the play when others did, we will never know because they couldn't give us an answer. Do I feel that there is a bit of favoritism going on for whom made it and whom did not? Absolutely! Supposedly one kid was told before try outs "that they had the perfect part for him". Shawn was actually told on Monday that he would make the play but just have a smaller part because of his screw up on the last play. So yes, there is a part of me that is convinced that there is a little bit of politics and favoritism happening and my daughter just got caught up in the wrong end of it. But that too is a life lesson that she will have to learn. My kids will not always succeed at everything, whether it will be because they don't have the skills, or there is someone a better fit for the role/job, or whether or not they aren't a favorite in someones opinion. They just need to learn from it, move forward, and find the positives to let them define who they are. Reality is, Jacee probably won't try out for another play. She is my shy child, who tries so hard (harder than anyone I know!)to push herself past her comfort zones. But she is also very stubborn when it comes to stuff like this. She will try something until she fails. If she fails she will either find a way to beat it and succeed, or she will decide it isn't for her and move on. She very rarely allows herself to fail at something more than once. In this case, because she doesn't understand why she didn't make it, and she understands that it is purely subjective, in her mind she will have nothing to fix, and more than likely decide to move on. Its just hard to parent through the heartbreak when you have no solid answers yourself. Tough lessons such as this are the hardest to parent through! But are lessons in life that the kids will face all the way through! But kills me, because I want to take all their heartbreaks away!

To Be or Not to Be-

So this blog will have nothing to do the humorous side of raising kids.  Its just me, pondering, like I always do.  Maybe you will find humor in it, maybe you won't.  To each their own. 

I am newly unemployed (laid off) after 9 long years with a company. At first it wasn't such a big deal.  The first week both my husband and kids were home for the holiday, we stayed busy like always.  The second week, I had the kids home.  I fully expected that it would be just like it was when I was home with them when they were little.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  When they were little it seemed like I was always chasing my tail to keep up with them.....diapers, meals, nap time (with the grand idea that I would get stuff done),  story time at the library, preschool.  Now they are 13 and 11, in middle school and they can fend for themselves. We are at a point where they don't necessarily NEED me, and it made the experience that much more enjoyable.  We could hang out and spend quality time together, play games, watch movies, scrapbook, or just sit and talk while having lunch.  Loved every moment of it. 

But now I am on week 2 of the kids being back in school and the hubby back to work, and its just me and the dogs.  And I am bored!  Anyone that knows me, knows that I do NOT like being bored.  I just like being busy. Actually we all like being busy, and our chaotic lifestyle is a true reflection of that. Yes, I have a routine down to try and keep myself busy, but I am also efficient and am usually done by Noon, and to be honest I am a little lost.  I don't know what to do with my time (there are only so many jobs out there to apply for).  I am a clean freak, so my house is clean anyway.  I have cleaned my kids rooms, I get lunch ready for my husband (he comes home to eat), I start dinner, I take the kids to school, I pick them up.  One would think all of this is enough to keep one person busy ALL day long, but it doesn't. 

Here is the thing........I have always had an internal struggle with making a decision to be a stay at home Mom or to be a working Mom.  And I have been criticized repeatedly for making the decision to be a working Mom.  I have actually been called "a horrible, horrible Mother and person for choosing work over my kids". It is a choice and a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. And quite honestly people need to make the decision that fits their family needs.  Most people that don't know our little family history are the ones who are quick to judge.  They don't realize that I did spend the majority of my children's younger years home with them.  When I had my oldest, I was working and going to school.  The ONLY time he wasn't with me was while I was in classes. Fortunately I had a job that allowed me to bring him to work, so I did.  When I was about to have my daughter the "rules" changed and I couldn't bring them anymore, so I quit.  And my husband and I made the ultimate sacrifice that many parent chose to do, and I stayed home for the first 6 months of our daughters life.  Then it was quickly apparent that I needed to find a part time job for the holidays (and car issues. etc).  So I found work in the evenings so my husband could be home with the kids. One thing lead to another and I quickly found myself with a different company promoted to an assistant manager position, working 70+ hours a week.  I thought "yes, I could be a career woman!"  I was exhausted, my husband was exhausted and I hardly EVER saw my kids.  I lasted 7 months in the position, and it was 7 months I could never take back.  I "woke up" and quit the day my boss told me I couldn't have my daughters 2nd birthday off. So I went back to working Part time and eventually ended up with the company that I was just laid off from.  They are an education company, and I happen to work out of the same building that offered preschool.  So I put them in the Center and worked upstairs from them.  I would go down and eat lunch with them and play with them on the play ground, in return the teachers would let them come upstairs and visit whenever they needed to (rocks up the nose, beads in the ears, or they just plain missed Mommy).  Life was grand! I had the best of both worlds, and I could still work and be with my kids.  :)

Then they started school.  I had always known that I wouldn't make a very "good" stay at home Mom once the kids started school.  I knew that I would get "bored" once they were in school full time.  I effectively went full time working when the kids started school.  Fortunately both my husband and I had jobs that allowed us to still be a very active part of our kids lives.  We both still took turns volunteering at the kids schools for various things, still took them to all their appointments, went to the schools to kiss wounds (yes our kids call us for weird things), see plays, see contests they enter, etc.We made it work.  Life was still grand! Until Summer time that is.  Then the kids were off school, and I felt guilty all over again about dropping them off at camp.  Every Summer we would put them in a camp ran by the company I worked for.  So I knew the people, knew the curriculum and also knew that they would do so MUCH more with camp than we would ever do it I was home.  AND they had a blast. Which is awesome, because by this time in the lives of our happy little family, we had (like so many people do) gotten ourselves into a situation financially where I now HAD to work.

We had to find balance.  My husband and I have very very long days most of the time to ensure that we are involved in our kids lives.  We get up at 5:30am and go to bed at 11pm. We coach, and volunteer at most of the kids events.  At one point I not only worked 40 hours a week, but I was also room Mom, Cookie Mom, head of the boyscout troop, was apart of the Yearbook committee, and coached my daughter on her coach pitch team in softball.  Simultanously my husband coached her basketball team and was assistant Scout Master.  We live a crazy life, but we are happy doing it.  

Being off now I have had time to reflect on our choice for me to work.  I realize that we made the choice we thought was best for our family.  We found a balance, and we are still highly involved in our kids life.  We both might be completely exhausted at the end of the day, but neither of us wouldn't trade it for the world. After 14 years I finally realized the "secret" to the dilemma is to do what is best for your family, and for every family the answer might be different. But for us we have found our balance, and our family is happy, and that is all I ever wanted in the first place.